Nightmare of the Elf [part 1]

Originally Posted at PsmythSongs.com December 4, 2009

So I murdered over three hours this morning scanning the web for notable French musicians to write about.  Problem was, the only unsigned bands I uncovered sort of, well, sucked. 

So I gave up on my Parisian pipe dream and returned to a land much closer to home yet in many ways just as foreign: That’s right, the San Fernando Valley, home to both the (straight) porn industry and a frightening band of noise-makers who call themselves Nightmare of the Elf.  I can’t really tell you much about them you won’t learn yourself by clicking on the link above.  Suffice it to say this band is really different… from anything - at least that I’ve ever heard.  They describe themselves as “The Greatest Pose Punk / Dork Wave band EVER!”  I’d definitely have to agree - if only I knew what that meant. 

When I listened to the first of three songs posted to their site, “Fat Ass Gonna Buy You a Donkey,” all I could think was “what the hell is this shit?”  But after multiple listenings I’ve decided it’s either one of the strangest, funniest, most disturbing and most brilliant pieces of horrifying a-cappella codswallop I’ve ever listened to or, well, I guess that’s exactly what it is.  I love it so much I’m afraid of it.  And now I can’t stop humming its haunting, yet trite melody… fat ass…gonna buy you a donkey-ee-ee, gonna buy you a donkey-ee-ee, gona buy you a donkey... 

I’m sorry I wasted so much time searching for the French indie scene today but thrilled that that experience left me too weak and exhausted to hit the pause button once I’d begun listening to Elf.  In any other state of mind I’m sure I would have fled after the first note or two.  So thank you, France, you’re the best!   

Rant

Originally Posted at PsmythSongs.com December 2, 2009

This morning, as I reviewed some of my recent blog entries, I couldn’t help but notice what I can only describe as a palpable lack of objectivity and criticality.  It’s true, I prefer to focus on what I feel is working with any given artist and their oeuvre (and lavish praise upon them in the process) and to veer from what I may find lacking, boring or outright irritating in their work.  I have also made a concerted effort to seek only those musicians who really get inside me and shake things up a bit (even if their instrumental technique, song writing adeptness or production prowess might suffer from a minor lack of mechanical or critical perfection).  Today, however, I’m going to be really mean and nasty about something that really irritates the hell out of me - both to demonstrate that I am willing and able do such a thing (and with unmitigated  abandon) and to provide some balance to what has otherwise been a big love-fest between myself and some of my favorite independent musicians.

So here it is:  I was searching on Youtube yesterday for more unsigned musicians/video artists to write about, thinking I would find the same vast talent pool I’ve found lately on MySpace.  Instead, I discovered what I would characterize as a lot of absolute crap.  I mean seriously bad, awful, terrible, hateful garbage.  I’m not going to name names, but here’s what I will say to those making such abominations: Just because you own a guitar and a web cam does not mean you have a right to make a music video.  Especially if you find it necessary to do so while sitting on your bed.  

I know, I know... if I hate this sort of thing so much, why not just ignore it, right?  Well, here’s why:

1. There are a great many monumentally talented, hardworking and devoted musicians writing and recording sublime songs and producing compelling videos who go lamentably unsigned.  

2. The excess of detritus being expelled from so many of those I discovered on Youtube who call themselves ‘unsigned artists’ only makes it more difficult for those with real ability to achieve recognition above the relentless din of mediocrity.

3. I loathe people who take no pride in what they do.  I mean seriously, could you even try to make it look like you care?

4. Finally, I think any and all of these wannabe recording artists are shooting themselves in the foot by demonstrating to the world (and anybody with the will and resources to grant them a record deal) that they don’t care enough about their public images to even try to be interesting.  There may be some real talent out there, but, quite frankly, if some unknown hack writer like me can’t be bothered to take the time to sift through the trash, no record executive is going to, either.

Whew, I feel much better now.  I also feel more resolute in my quest to find those truly talented and rigorous unsigned artists and to help them tout their wares.  And if I tend to privilege strength above failing, well, I guess that’s just my thing.  If you don’t like it, go write your own blog about touchy-feely bloggers who bug the sh*t out of you.   (BTW, I have no problem using profanity, but for some reason I find the [expletive deleted] versions of such words really f*ing funny).

Desert Owls

Originally Posted at PsmythSongs.com December 2, 2009

Rummaging about the Myspace archives this morning I discovered this Canadian group calling themselves Desert Owls.  A posted message to the Coachella Valley Music and Art Fesitval’s site reads   “... hopefully we’ll get to play your festival one day.”  I figured they must be real indie, since one normally hires a manager and publicist to carry out such solicitations.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find an MP3 to download at itunes.  Which is too bad, because I would have happily parted with the $.99.  

I find their music terribly catchy, despite its being far from my usual taste.  They describe themselves as Punk / Thrash / Trance, commenting that their music sounds like “our parents are disappointed.”  It’s always inspiring to find unsigned musicians with ample senses of humor.

The band blend in-your-face dissonance with melodious, toe-tapping pop.  I’m reminded of the more aggressive offerings from early Pixies, “Something Against You” or “Debasers,” say.  Could I have found a more recent band to compare them to?  I suppose so, although aside from my friend Dyami’s band Poor Man’s War, I haven’t listened to a lot of this sort of music.  So yes, I’ll date myself and trace this band back to the source of all things rough and wonderful... In all honesty, though, a band like Desert Owls is to Pixies what Yeah Yeah Yeahs is to The Pretenders.        

I wish I could say something critically negative about their songs... I don’t want to come across all wishy-washy and sycophantic.  But if I didn’t like them I’d have moved on.  Which is what I typically do for about an hour each morning in search of something compelling to write about.  OK, I don’t love every single song, but those that I do, I like quite a lot.

My favorites, in this order are: “Go Go Go,” “Who,” “The Transitional Stereotypes of the Comm” and “The Letter E.”  I suspect there may be more to that third title - something cut off due to limited space..?  Or not.  

If they do play Coachella some day I’ll make sure to go - since I only live about twenty minutes away... although on festival days it still takes about an hour through slogging traffic to get there.